LekoE375 |
Ruth |
Ruth |
It's been four years since I last saw that beautiful face of yours. God how much I wish you could come back to me. My brain tells me to stop wishing for the impossible, but my heart aches too much to listen.
I just can't bring myself to say good-bye to you. As the years pass I miss you more and more.
I cry as I write this to you Carlos, for I just can't let go of all the why's and if's. If only you had stayed with me on that dreadful Sunday.
Although leaving my children will be hard when my day comes to leave this earth, the thought of seeing you again will get me through.
Be happy in Heaven my precious Angel Twin. You are and always will be a part of who I am and all that I do.
I will bring your Christmas Wreath to the cemetery like I do every year for you.
I love you so so very much!
Your broken hearted Twin Sister.
Ruth (Januuary 8th, 2007, 10;00 am) |
Ruth (December 23rd, 2006) |
I have so many special memories with my twin brother at Christmas time. My favourite is waking up Christmas morning and knowing that I had him to play with all day. That feeling was so special to me. Wish I could turn back time!
Ruth (December 7th, 2006) |
Carlos loved Christmas. He would always ask when the Christmas lights were going to be put up. On Christmas Day my family is always together. We start the day by going to my Mom's for Christmas breakfast and afterwards we open up our Christmas presents. My mom prepares this huge dinner and there is always way too many sweets to go around. After dinner we play cards for small amounts of money.
We never spent one Christmas apart until the Christmas of 2003, when Carlos was taken from us just 3 weeks before. Of course, we still spent Christmas of 2003 together, but it was mostly for the kids. We couldn't take Christmas from them.
Christmas will never be the same without Carlos. Over the past 3 years we have learned to celebrate Christmas in a new way. There will always be that moment of tears, that moment of wishing so hard that he could just come home for this one day so we can be together again.
I know he'll be with us on Christmas Day. We won't be able to see him, but if we try hard enough, we will FEEL him. I know it's not the same as having him with us physically, but it's all we have to hold on to for now.
Merry Christmas,
With great Love,
Ruth
Ruth (November 30th, 2006) |
I went to the cemetary today for the 3rd Anniversary of Carlos's death. 3 years and it still hurts so much to go there. To see his name, picture on a tombstone seems so unreal to me still.
I miss you so much Carlos. Watch over our Family like you have been. I feel you here with me more than ever today. I hope you understand why I have to cry so much today. I know how much you hate to see me cry. But you know me, I'm just very emotional about the people I love.
Be Happy my precious. I hold you so close to my heart that sometimes I think I can hear your heart beating with mine.
Love you alway,
Ruth
My Christmas Tree |
November 24th, 2006
Exactly 3 years ago today, Carlos stood next to me and asked if I needed help putting up my Christmas Tree.
This year Veronica helped me put up the tree. I was going to wait until after the anniversary of Carlos's death, but Veronica was off from school and wanted to put up the tree. So, I knew Carlos would approve of my decision. Through tears which I kept hidden from my daugther, I know that Carlos was standing right next to me again.
Christmas will never be the same without you!
I love you so much Carlos.
Your forever twin sister, Ruth
Figueira Family |
If
Tears could build a stairway of memories of love.
I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken,
no time to say goodbye.
You were gone before we knew it,
and only god knows why.
Our hearts still ache in sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant fo lose someone like you,
No one can ever know.
From your twin sister |
I Still Feel Your Love
I know you’re gone from this earth
You left me way too soon
But I feel your love every time
I gaze up at the moon.
Sometimes I think I hear
A whisper in the wind
It sounds as if you’ve called my name
As your love to me you send.
Sometimes I do a silly thing
And your laughter fills my ears
I know you’re right here with me
But I can’t see you through my tears.
I felt your hand upon my shoulder
And I quickly turned to see
Visible... you were not
But I know you’re here with me.
In the night you sometime come
To visit in my dreams
My hands go out to touch you
But you’re just out of reach it seems.
For just a flash you appear
Standing close to me
Is it just my imagination
Or is it really you I see.
Even though you’re gone from me
And you watch me from above
I long for you everyday…
And I still feel your love.
Mom (Mae) |
My Son Carlos was always a good boy. He wasn't perfect and had his issues like most people do. He was never disrespectful and always considered my feelings. Even when I would lecture him as an adult when he was doing things I didn't approve of or like, he would just nod his head and say "O.K. Mom". He has such a huge heart and I am so grateful and proud to call him "MY SON". A parent should not have to bury their child, no matter how old they are.
I love and miss you so much my Baby!
To my Mother |
Mother's Tears
Tomorrow will mark another long day
And from my mother I've been locked away
In my head I recall our last embrace
And the trail of tears on my mother's face
Though I never meant to make her cry
On that awful day I said "Goodbye"
I'm so sorry I had to slip away
Leaving her there in sad dismay
And still her tears they fall and stream
Whenever she closes her eyes to dream
A mother's tears are the hardest to mend
For they are tears of a dearest friend
And tomorrow I know while thinking of me
She'll cry those tears I wish to not see
So tonight I wish she would wipe them away
The tears you cry when you sit down to pray
For I am with you every second of every day!
With all my Love, Carlos
Ruth |
The kids really miss you. You were such a big part of their lives. Kevin got a tatoo on his wrist with your name and a Cross. It's so beautiful. When I saw it it made me realize how much he really misses you. He bought a base guitar. You would love it I'm sure. It's a tough time of year for us with the anniversary of your death coming up and the holidays. But I know you'll be here to make sure we get through it o.k. Luv you my twin!
Ruth |
Our sister Guida gave this glass plaque to me on our first Christmas without Carlos. You can imagine how much it made me cry, but I cherish it forever.
It reads as follows:
What is a brother?
A brother is someone who's been where you've been, who knows you and what you're about...
someone you know you can call if you need to when something's just not working out.
A brother is someone who's more than just family...
His friendship is one of a kind...
And the closeness you've shared through life's laughter and tears is the deepest that you'll ever find.
Having you for a brother
Means more than you
Could ever Imagine.
Lisa Pereira |
Figgy and I were very good friends we would hang out alot, he would come over to watch movies or listen to music, back then one of his favorite bands was Guns and Roses and one of his favorite songs was "Sweet child of mine", everytime I hear that song it reminds me of him. He had a great sense of humour, when we would get into discussions and I would say something that he would disagree on, he would pretend that he had a book in his hands and would say, "Which page?" and just look at me with a grin on his face. Sweet memories that I will always cherish.
Ruth Figueira |
Ruth Figueira |